A merry-go-round of horror, familiar to any drunk who has survived long enough.I did odd jobs as infrequently as possible to pay for my habit. I lived on a derelict houseboat in San Francisco Bay. My last girlfriend had said goodbye some time ago. In short, I was miserable when drunk and even more miserable when sober.I hit that proverbial 'bottom' when I found myself in jail after a second drunk driving ticket. A Public Defender managed to convince a Judge to sentence me to a hefty fine plus a few years of probation, so I wasn't in jail long.The terms of my probation kept me busy. I had to attend a drunk driving class, which wasn't cheap. Twice a week Alcoholics Anonymous meetings were mandated. Unscheduled meetings with my probation officer where I had to pee in a bottle, were frequent. And finally, a weekly group therapy session was in the schedule. All that, plus I had to work steadily to pay the thousands of dollars fine.I didn't like any part of it but liked the thought of. "Hmm... C cup," she said, holding an amazingly realistic looking fakebreast in her left hand. "I guess it's true what they say about gay menliking big boobs!" She added with another of those annoyingly cutegiggles.She spread what I assumed was an adhesive on the back of the breast, thenfollowed suit with its partner, before pressing them both to my chest.As she held them in place to dry, she explained to me that the adhesivewas designed to hold for around 4 weeks, but that I could use the samesolvent as for the tape, should I want to remove them earlier than that.Once she was satisfied the glue had set, she took a flesh-toned paste andquickly began, smearing it across the joins, blending the fake boobs intomy body, until they appeared like I'd grown them myself. She gave thearea a blast with the hairdryer, which she said was to help it set."This goop is a man in your position's best friend," she told me. "Asyou can see, it blends the fake breast into your chest naturally, hidingthe.
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